Parenting is an Act of Faith

 Lately, I've been pondering parenthood.  Probably has something to do with the surprise bundle of joy we are anticipating in a few months. I've come to the realization that motherhood and parenting is an act of faith. It's not something that can be planned and executed with logic. I know plenty of people who try to approach having children with this mentality, but quickly discover it's not about logic. There's nothing logical about choosing to put yourself through labor/delivery/sleepless nights/potty training, etc. And there is certainly nothing logical about doing it a second time (or third, fourth, fifth...). It's all about faith.

It starts with the tiny seed of faith that there children bring joy. That there is something lasting and eternal about the happiness family life can bring. It's having the faith to step into the darkness and do this even when you don't feel completely ready, your bank account isn't perfect, you haven't travelled enough, etc.
It's having faith that the morning sickness will pass like everyone claims, and that the swollen ankles will return to normal again eventually. And the huge leap of faith that "I CAN birth this baby", though every instinct screams that it's certain death.

 Then the sweet little thing is here, and it takes a measure of faith to believe that all of the work an infant requires will be worth it someday. Even if it's just waiting those 4-6 weeks for the first smile; the first validation that this little being loves you too. 

In my experience, the first eight months of Hinder's life were a complete act of faith for me. It was hard. I didn't feel like myself. My life had dramatically shifted. My body did things it had never done before, and I had no energy or time for all the activities I had filled my days with prior to becoming a mom. It was a complete and total shift. I had to have faith that I was doing something right. That Heavenly Father wouldn't have sent me a child just for me to mess him up. That He would make up for my many weaknesses.

 And serious faith is required to do it all over again. Committing to carrying and birthing a second baby and doing the infant thing when you know what you're in for. It's very different than the blind faith of having baby #1.  It's believing that God is not going to send you more than you can handle. Or that somehow, you'll become equal to the task.

And then the test of faith comes. When you want to get that second baby here, but it's not the right timing. And it doesn't work out, and you don't know why. And you blame yourself and over-analyze.  It takes a lot of faith to try again. To let yourself be pregnant again, and not to turn into a worrying basket-case for the entire nine months.

 

 Motherhood is acting on the faith that the hard days will be worth it, and they will indeed pass. That functioning week after week on 3 hours of sleep, chicken nuggets, and Disney Junior won't actually turn you into the zombie that it feels like you've become. And that more challenges are sure to come with every stage and age, but divine assistance will come in those moments. 

 

 It's believing that mother's intuition does exist. That I can have it and it can be right.

It's waking up earlier than needed to gather your family for prayer and scripture study (not an easy task), because of the faith that it will provide your little ones the promised protection. 

It's believing macaroni and cheese with hot dogs is good enough sometimes. No lasting damage will occur. 

Its not giving into the fears of bring another person into this world that's full of corruption and confusion.

 

 And it's believing that giving your entire life over to these little ones is truly the most important work a woman can do. It's handing over the reigns to someone else. Someone who sees more and can make me more than I could have become without the experience of being 'mom'. That when they head off to college, and don't need me anymore, that they will come back someday. 

Essentially, it's the belief that we can truly be together forever. 

An eternal family.

 Being a mother is how I live what I know.

Parenting is faith.